雙語文摘清醒生活的勇氣
通過閱讀這一篇文摘，你會(huì)老了解到重要一點(diǎn)是，真正的勇氣實(shí)際上是種思維技巧，而非情感表現(xiàn)。接下來，小編給大家準(zhǔn)備了雙語文摘清醒生活的勇氣,歡迎大家參考與借鑒。
雙語文摘清醒生活的勇氣
Security is mostly a superstition.
安全大抵虛幻，
It does not exist in nature,
世間無處尋覓。
nor do the children of men
蕓蕓眾生，
as a whole experience it.
無人有此經(jīng)歷。
Avoiding danger is no safer
避險(xiǎn)難計(jì)久長(zhǎng)，
in the long run than outright exposure.
不如現(xiàn)身搏擊。
Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.
抑或險(xiǎn)中求勝，抑或碌碌無為，人生非此即彼。
To keep our faces toward change and
讓我們直面改變，
behave like free spirits
行如自由之靈，
in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable.
翱翔命運(yùn)天際，是為不敗之力。
— Helen Keller “Let Us Have Faith”(海倫·凱勒 《讓我們心懷信仰 》)
In our day-to-day lives, the virtue of courage doesn't receive much attention. Courage is a quality reserved for soldiers, firefighters, and activists. Security is what matters most today. Perhaps you were taught to avoid being too bold or too brave. It's too dangerous. Don't take unnecessary risks. Don't draw attention to yourself in public. Follow family traditions. Don't talk to strangers. Keep an eye out for suspicious people. Stay safe.
But a side effect of overemphasizing the importance of personal security in your life is that it can cause you to live reactively. Instead of setting your own goals, making plans to achieve them, and going after them with gusto, you play it safe. Keep working at the stable job, even though it doesn't fulfill you. Remain in the unsatisfying relationship, even though you feel dead inside compared to the passion you once had. Who are you to think that you can buck the system? Accept your lot in life, and make the best of it. Go with the flow, and don't rock the boat. Your only hope is that the currents of life will pull you in a favorable direction.
No doubt there exist real dangers in life you must avoid. But there's a huge gulf between recklessness and courage. I'm not referring to the heroic courage required to risk your life to save someone from a burning building. By courage I mean the ability to face down those imaginary fears and reclaim the far more powerful life that you've denied yourself. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of going broke. Fear of being alone. Fear of humiliation. Fear of public speaking. Fear of being ostracized by family and friends. Fear of physical discomfort. Fear of regret. Fear of success.
How many of these fears are holding you back? How would you live if you had no fear at all? You'd still have your intelligence and common sense to safely navigate around any real dangers, but without feeling the emotion of fear, would you be more willing to take risks, especially when the worst case wouldn't actually hurt you at all? Would you speak up more often, talk to more strangers, ask for more sales, dive headlong into those ambitious projects you've been dreaming about? What if you even learned to enjoy the things you currently fear? What kind of difference would that make in your life?
Have you previously convinced yourself that you aren't really afraid of anything... that there are always good and logical reasons why you don't do certain things? It would be rude to introduce yourself to a stranger. You shouldn't attempt public speaking because you don't have anything to say. Asking for a raise would be improper because you're supposed to wait until the next formal review. They're just rationalizations though - think about how your life would change if you could confidently and courageously do these things with no fear at all.
在我們?nèi)諒?fù)一日的生活中，勇氣這種美德并未收獲太多關(guān)注。勇氣是給戰(zhàn)士、消防員和社會(huì)積極分子預(yù)留的性格品質(zhì)。安全感才是人們今天最看重的。也許你就曾被教導(dǎo)，要避免過于大膽或勇敢。那樣做太危險(xiǎn)。不要冒毫無必要的風(fēng)險(xiǎn)。不要在公共場(chǎng)合吸引人們注意力。追隨家庭傳統(tǒng)。不要跟陌生人說話。留心那些可疑人士。保持安全。
但在生活中過度看重個(gè)人安全感的一個(gè)副作用，就是它會(huì)讓你進(jìn)入反應(yīng)型生活模式。與設(shè)立出個(gè)人目標(biāo)，為達(dá)成它們制定計(jì)劃，并放膽追求相反，你只想采取安全玩法。即使難享心滿意足，你也一直緊守著穩(wěn)定工作。就算與曾有的激情相比，現(xiàn)在感到內(nèi)心一片死寂，你也仍停留在索然無味的感情關(guān)系里。你以為你是誰，敢去反抗整個(gè)制度?接受你的生活現(xiàn)狀，盡力過好這種日子吧。隨波逐流，而非擊槳前行。你唯一能希望的，就是生活之流會(huì)把你帶向自己滿意的方向。
毫無疑問，生活中存在你必須躲避的真正危險(xiǎn)。但在莽撞和勇氣之間，有著巨大鴻溝。我指的并非那種英雄式勇氣，需要你冒生命危險(xiǎn)從燃燒建筑里救出某人。我說的勇氣，是指降服那些想象出的內(nèi)心恐懼，重獲你一直否認(rèn)，但自己本該享受的有力生活。
害怕失敗。害怕拒絕。害怕破產(chǎn)。害怕孤獨(dú)。害怕丟臉。害怕演講。害怕被家人和朋友排斥。害怕身體上的不適。害怕后悔。害怕成功。
這些恐懼有多少在拖你后腿?假如沒有任何恐懼，你又想如何生活?我們都擁有個(gè)人智慧和常識(shí)，能安全引導(dǎo)自己躲避真正的危險(xiǎn)。但若不再有心懷恐懼的情緒感受，尤其當(dāng)最壞情形其實(shí)也將毫發(fā)無損時(shí)，你是否就更愿去冒險(xiǎn)?你愿意更大膽發(fā)言，和更多陌生人交談，尋求更多銷售成果，一頭扎進(jìn)那些始終夢(mèng)想實(shí)現(xiàn)的雄心項(xiàng)目中嗎?如果你甚至學(xué)會(huì)享受這些眼前恐懼的事情，又將怎樣?這能給你的生活帶來何種不同
你此前是否說服過自己，認(rèn)為你實(shí)際上并不害怕任何事情... 你之所以不做它們，總是有合乎邏輯的良好理由?向陌生人主動(dòng)自我介紹會(huì)顯得粗魯。你不該嘗試公開演講，因?yàn)樽约簺]什么好講的。要求加薪不太恰當(dāng)，因?yàn)槟阍摰鹊较麓握綐I(yè)務(wù)評(píng)估時(shí)再提出。但這些理由都是心理辯解 — 請(qǐng)想想若你能毫無恐懼，自信勇敢地做這些事情，你的生活又將發(fā)生何種改變?
What Is Courage?
什么是勇氣?
Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.
勇氣并非沒有恐懼，而是判斷出有比躲避恐懼更重要的事情值得做。
— Ambrose Redmoon (安布羅斯·雷德蒙，美國(guó)作家)
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.
勇氣是對(duì)恐懼的反抗和掌控 — 而非沒有恐懼。
— Mark Twain (馬克·吐溫，美國(guó)作家)
Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.
勇氣就是怕得要死，但仍馭馬前征。
— John Wayne (約翰·韋恩，美國(guó)影星)
I like the definitions of courage above, which all suggest that courage is the ability to get yourself to take action in spite of fear. The word courage derives from the Latin cor, which means "heart." But true courage is more a matter of intellect than of feeling. It requires using the uniquely human part of your brain (the neocortex) to wrest control away from the emotional limbic brain you share in common with other mammals. Your limbic brain signals danger, but your neocortex reasons that the danger isn't real, so you simply feel the fear and take action anyway. The more you learn to act in spite of fear, the more human you become. The more you follow the fear, the more you live like a lower mammal. So the question, "Are you a man or a mouse?" is consistent with human neurology.
Courageous people are still afraid, but they don't let the fear paralyze them. People who lack courage will give into fear more often than not, which actually has the long-term effect of strengthening the fear. When you avoid facing a fear and then feel relieved that you escaped it, this acts as a psychological reward that reinforces the mouse-like avoidance behavior, making you even more likely to avoid facing the fear in the future. So the more you avoid asking someone out on a date, the more paralyzed you'll feel about taking such actions in the future. You are literally conditioning yourself to become more timid and mouse-like.
Such avoidance behavior causes stagnation in the long run. As you get older, you reinforce your fear reactions to the point where it's hard to even imagine yourself standing up to your fears. You begin taking your fears for granted; they become real to you. You cocoon yourself into a life that insulates you from all these fears: a stable but unhappy marriage, a job that doesn't require you to take risks, an income that keeps you comfortable. Then you rationalize your behavior: You have a family to support and can't take risks, you're too old to shift careers, you can't lose weight because you have "fat" genes. Five years... ten years... twenty years pass, and you realize that your life hasn't changed all that much. You've settled down. All that's really left now is to live out the remainder of your years as contently as possible and then settle yourself into the ground, where you'll finally achieve total safety and security.
But there's something else going on behind the scenes, isn't there? That tiny voice in the back of your mind recalls that this isn't the kind of life you wanted to live. It wants more, much more. It wants you to become far wealthier, to have an outstanding relationship, to get your body in peak physical condition, to learn new skills, to travel the world, to have lots of wonderful friends, to help people in need, to make a meaningful difference. That voice tells you that settling into a job where you sell widgets the rest of your life just won't cut it. That voice frowns at you when you catch a glance of your oversized belly in the mirror or get winded going up a flight of stairs. It beams disappointment when it sees what's become of your family. It tells you that the reason you have trouble motivating yourself is that you aren't doing what you really ought to be doing with your life... because you're afraid. And if you refuse to listen, it will always be there, nagging you about your mediocre results until you die, full of regrets for what might have been.
So how do you respond to this ornery voice that won't shut up? What do you do when confronted by that gut feeling that something just isn't right in your life? What's your favorite way to silence it? Maybe drown it out by watching TV, listening to the radio, working long hours at an unfulfilling job, or consuming alcohol and caffeine and sugar.
But whenever you do this, you lower your level of consciousness. You sink closer towards an instinctive animal and move away from becoming a fully conscious human being. You react to life instead of proactively going after your goals. You fall into a state of learned helplessness, where you begin to believe that your goals are no longer possible or practical for you. You become more and more like a mouse, even trying to convince yourself that life as a mouse might not be so bad after all, since everyone around you seems to be OK with it. You surround yourself with your fellow mice, and on the rare occasions that you encounter a fully conscious human being, it scares the hell out of you to remember how much of your own courage has been lost.
我喜歡上面對(duì)勇氣的定義，它們都指明勇氣就是讓自己采取行動(dòng)，無論恐懼是否存在。英文單詞courage(勇氣)源自拉丁語的cor，其意思為“心”。但真正的勇氣更屬于一種智性，而非心理感受。它要求人們利用自己獨(dú)一無二的新大腦皮層，奪取你和其他哺乳動(dòng)物共有的情緒性腦邊緣皮層對(duì)自身的控制。你的腦邊緣皮層常會(huì)發(fā)出危險(xiǎn)信號(hào)，但新大腦皮層可通過理性分析判斷危險(xiǎn)并不真實(shí)，因而你能在依然恐懼的感受下采取行動(dòng)。你越是學(xué)會(huì)在不畏恐懼的情形下行動(dòng)，就越能展現(xiàn)作為人類的偉大之處。你越是追隨恐懼行為，就越會(huì)活得像個(gè)低級(jí)哺乳動(dòng)物。因此“你到底是人還是只老鼠?”這種問題，與人類神經(jīng)學(xué)事實(shí)完全相符。
勇敢之士依然害怕，但他們不會(huì)讓恐懼癱瘓自己。那些缺乏勇氣的人們多半愛向恐懼投降，這其實(shí)會(huì)給強(qiáng)化恐懼帶來長(zhǎng)期影響。當(dāng)你回避面對(duì)恐懼，之后為躲過它而感到解脫放松時(shí)，這樣的行動(dòng)就像一種心理獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)，強(qiáng)化了膽小如鼠的躲避行為，使你更有可能在未來回避直面恐懼。因此，你越是回避邀人外出約會(huì)，就越會(huì)在未來對(duì)這類行動(dòng)感到無能為力。你本質(zhì)上就是在馴化自己，變得更擔(dān)驚受怕和膽小如鼠。
長(zhǎng)此以往，這種回避行為就將造成停滯不前的生活狀態(tài)。隨著自己越來越老，你對(duì)個(gè)人恐懼反應(yīng)的強(qiáng)化，甚至能達(dá)到連去面對(duì)這些恐懼都難以想象的程度。你開始認(rèn)為自己的恐懼理所應(yīng)當(dāng);它們對(duì)你而言也變得更加真實(shí)。你把自己包裹在隔絕了所有這些恐懼的生活里：比如一場(chǎng)穩(wěn)定但毫無幸福可言的婚姻，一種無需你冒任何風(fēng)險(xiǎn)的工作，一份令你始終都很舒服的收入。隨后你會(huì)對(duì)個(gè)人行為進(jìn)行心理辯解：我要維持家庭所以沒法冒險(xiǎn)，我太老了所以沒法轉(zhuǎn)變工作，我有“肥胖”基因所以沒法減重。五年… 十年… 二十年就這樣過去了，然后你意識(shí)到個(gè)人生活毫無變化。你已經(jīng)安定下來。生命中真正剩下的，就是盡可能心滿意足地過掉剩余日子，然后讓自己安然入土。你終于在那里實(shí)現(xiàn)了徹底的安全和保險(xiǎn)。
但這種人生背后好像有其他什么東西在掙扎，不是嗎?那從腦后傳來的細(xì)小聲音，讓你想起這并非你要的活法。那個(gè)聲音渴望更多，比這種安全生活要多得多。它想讓你變得更加富有，擁有一份不同凡響的感情關(guān)系，讓個(gè)人身體處于巔峰狀態(tài)，學(xué)習(xí)更多新技能，環(huán)游世界，結(jié)識(shí)眾多美妙朋友，幫助需要幫助的人們，給世界帶來有意義的改變。那個(gè)聲音告訴你，安于一份后半輩子都去賣零件的工作根本毫不值當(dāng)。當(dāng)在鏡子里或上樓時(shí)瞟見自己的大肚子，這個(gè)聲音會(huì)朝你皺眉。當(dāng)它看見發(fā)生在你家庭的現(xiàn)實(shí)時(shí)，也會(huì)流露失望。它會(huì)告訴你，你難以激勵(lì)自己行動(dòng)的原因，就是沒有干自己生命真正該做的事情… 因?yàn)槟愠錆M恐懼。倘若你拒絕傾聽這個(gè)聲音，它將永遠(yuǎn)存在那里，為這種平庸結(jié)果叨擾著你，直至你死去，讓你心中滿懷對(duì)本可實(shí)現(xiàn)的美好生活的無限遺憾。
你該如何回應(yīng)這個(gè)不肯閉嘴的頑固聲音?當(dāng)生活里總有覺得什么事情不對(duì)的直覺感應(yīng)時(shí)，你又該怎樣行動(dòng)?為了讓它安靜下來，你最喜歡的解決方法是什么?也許就是看電視、聽廣播、在毫無意義的事務(wù)上長(zhǎng)時(shí)間工作，或用消費(fèi)酒精、咖啡和糖品的方式來淹沒它。
但不論你何時(shí)用這些方法麻醉自己，都在降低自身的意識(shí)水平。你向著依靠本能行動(dòng)的動(dòng)物狀態(tài)陷得越深，距離一個(gè)完全清醒的個(gè)人也就越遠(yuǎn)。你對(duì)生活只是被動(dòng)回應(yīng)，而非積極主動(dòng)地追求人生目標(biāo)。你墜入一種逐步習(xí)得的絕望狀態(tài)，導(dǎo)致自己開始相信那些目標(biāo)都不再可能實(shí)現(xiàn)，或是現(xiàn)實(shí)可行。你變得越來越像只老鼠，甚至試圖勸說自己相信，像老鼠一樣生活可能也沒那么糟，因?yàn)樯磉吽腥怂坪醵紝?duì)這種生活毫無問題。你讓周圍遍布鼠類同伴，只是偶爾才遇見一個(gè)完全清醒的人類。想起自己?jiǎn)适У舳嗌賯€(gè)人勇氣，會(huì)把你嚇得魂飛魄散。
Raise Your Consciousness
提升個(gè)人清醒意識(shí)
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.
生活會(huì)隨著一個(gè)人的勇氣成比例地收縮或擴(kuò)張。
— Anais Nin(阿娜伊斯·寧，美國(guó)傳奇女作家)
Courage is the price that Life exacts for granting peace.
勇氣是生活在賦予人心靈平靜時(shí)，索要的代價(jià)。
— Amelia Earhart(阿美利亞·伊爾哈特，美國(guó)飛行家)
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, "I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along." You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
每次令你面帶懼色的經(jīng)歷，都會(huì)讓人收獲力量、勇氣和自信。你將能告訴自己：“我已歷經(jīng)這番恐懼，可以直面隨后而來的下次挑戰(zhàn)?！蹦惚仨毴プ稣J(rèn)為自己做不到的事情。
— Eleanor Roosevelt (埃莉諾·羅斯福，美國(guó)總統(tǒng)羅斯福的夫人)
The way out of this vicious cycle is to summon your courage and confront that inner voice. Find a place where you can be alone with pen and paper (or computer and keyboard). Listen to that voice, and face up to what it's telling you, no matter how difficult it is to hear. (The voice is just an abstraction - you may not hear words at all; instead you may see what you should be doing or simply feel it emotionally. But I'll continue to refer to the voice for the sake of example.) This voice may tell you that your marriage has been dead for ten years, and you're refusing to face it because you're afraid of divorce. It may tell you that you're afraid that if you start your own business, you'll probably fail, and that's why you're staying at a job that doesn't challenge you to grow. It may tell you that you've given up trying to lose weight because you've failed at it so many times, and you're addicted to food. It may tell you that the friends you're hanging out with now are incongruent with the person you want to be, and that you need to leave that reference group behind and build a new one. It may tell you that you always wanted to be an actor or writer, but you settled for a sales job because it seemed more safe and secure. It may tell you that you always wanted to help people in need, but you aren't doing so in the way you should. It may tell you that you're wasting your talents.
See if you can reduce that voice to just a single word or two. What is it telling you to do? Leave. Quit. Speak. Write. Dance. Act. Exercise. Sell. Switch. Move on. Let go. Ask. Learn. Forgive. Whatever you get from this, write it down. Perhaps you even have different words for each area of your life.
Now you have to take the difficult step of consciously acknowledging that this is what you really want. It's OK if you don't think it's possible for you. It's OK if you don't see how you could ever have it. But don't deny that you want it. You lower your consciousness when you do that. When you look at your overweight body, admit that you really want to be fit and healthy. When you light up that next cigarette, don't deny that you want to be a nonsmoker. When you meet the potential mate of your dreams, don't deny that you'd love to be in a relationship with that person. When you meet a person who seems to be at total peace with herself, don't deny that you crave that level of inner peace too. Get yourself out of denial. Move instead to a place where you admit, "I really do want this, but I just don't feel I currently have the ability to get it." It's perfectly OK to want something that you don't think you can have. And you're almost certainly wrong in concluding that you can't have it. But first, stop lying to yourself and pretending you don't really want it.
脫離這種惡性循環(huán)的出路，就是召喚自身勇氣并直面心聲。帶上筆紙(或電腦和鍵盤)，找個(gè)你能單獨(dú)待著的地方。傾聽那個(gè)聲音，勇敢面對(duì)它述說的內(nèi)容，無論聽取過程有多么艱難。(聲音在此只是抽象比喻 — 你可能聽不見任何言語;也可能會(huì)直接看出自己該做什么，或從情感上直接體驗(yàn)到這份感受。但我會(huì)繼續(xù)用聲音來比喻舉例。)這個(gè)聲音可能告訴你，自己婚姻已名存實(shí)亡十多年，但你拒絕面對(duì)事實(shí)，只是因?yàn)楹ε码x婚。它可能告訴你，自己害怕創(chuàng)業(yè)后很可能要面對(duì)失敗，而這就是你停留在一份難以挑戰(zhàn)自我成長(zhǎng)的工作中的原因。它可能告訴你，自己準(zhǔn)備放棄減肥想法，因?yàn)槟阋咽∵^那么多次，而且你對(duì)食物過度上癮。它可能告訴你，自己現(xiàn)在擁有的朋友，與你想成為的那種人毫不一致，你需要遠(yuǎn)離這類人群，創(chuàng)建一個(gè)新社交群體。它可能告訴你，你一直想成為一個(gè)演員或作家，但現(xiàn)在安于一份銷售工作，只因?yàn)檫@樣看起來更安全保險(xiǎn)。它可能告訴你，你總想幫助那些需要幫助的人們，但從沒用自己應(yīng)當(dāng)采取的方式行動(dòng)。它還可能告訴你，你正在浪費(fèi)自己的天賦才華。
看看你能否將此聲音縮減至一兩個(gè)字詞。它在告訴你該做什么?離開。辭職。演講。寫作。跳舞。表演。鍛煉。出售。交換。前進(jìn)。放手。詢問。學(xué)習(xí)。原諒。不管你從中想到什么，直接把它寫下來。或許你在生活中的每個(gè)領(lǐng)域甚至都有對(duì)應(yīng)的不同詞匯。
現(xiàn)在你必須邁出艱難一步，清醒承認(rèn)這就是你真正想要的結(jié)果。若你不認(rèn)為自己能夠做到，完全沒問題。如果你看不出自己到底該如何獲得這種結(jié)果，也沒有問題。但不要否認(rèn)你不想要此結(jié)果。當(dāng)你否認(rèn)時(shí)，就在降低個(gè)人清醒意識(shí)。當(dāng)你看見自己身體超重，就承認(rèn)你確實(shí)想要身體勻稱健康。當(dāng)你點(diǎn)燃下一根香煙，不要否認(rèn)你想成為不吸煙者。當(dāng)你遇見自己潛在的夢(mèng)想對(duì)象，不要否認(rèn)你愿和此人共享愛情。當(dāng)你遇見似乎能完全平和處世的一個(gè)人，不要否認(rèn)你也渴望那種層次的內(nèi)心平靜。將自己拖出否認(rèn)的泥沼。向著完全承認(rèn)事實(shí)的領(lǐng)地移動(dòng)：“我真的想要這樣，只是現(xiàn)在感覺沒能力實(shí)現(xiàn)它?！蹦阆胍獡碛凶哉J(rèn)為無法獲得的事物，這完全不是問題。匆忙得出你無法擁有它的結(jié)論，幾乎肯定錯(cuò)誤。但是首先，請(qǐng)停止對(duì)自己撒謊，別假裝你并非真的想要那種結(jié)果。
Move From Fear to Action, Even if You Expect to Fail
從恐懼走向行動(dòng)，即使你預(yù)想自己會(huì)失敗
When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.
當(dāng)一個(gè)果敢的年輕人，走到惡霸、俗世面前，大膽扯其胡子時(shí)，常會(huì)驚訝發(fā)現(xiàn)，胡子都脫落在他手中。原來這些胡子被粘到臉上，只是為了嚇走那些膽怯的冒險(xiǎn)者。
— Ralph Waldo Emerson(拉爾夫·沃爾多·愛默生，美國(guó)思想家。)
Most of our obstacles would melt away if, instead of cowering before them, we should make up our minds to walk boldly through them.
若我們下定決心勇敢跨過，而非畏縮不前，大多數(shù)困難都將融化消散。
— Orison Swett Marden(奧里森·斯維特·馬登，美國(guó)勵(lì)志大師)
Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air.
勇氣和毅力乃神奇護(hù)身符，困難與障礙在它們面前都將煙消云散。
— John Quincy Adams(約翰·昆西·亞當(dāng)斯，美國(guó)第六任總統(tǒng))
Now that you've acknowledged some things you've been afraid to face, how do you feel? You probably still feel paralyzed against taking action. That's OK. While diving right in and confronting a fear head-on can be very effective, that may require more courage than you feel you can summon right now.
The most important point I want you to learn from this article is that real courage is a mental skill, not an emotional one. Neurologically it means using the thinking neocortex part of your brain to override the emotional limbic impulses. In other words, you use your human intelligence, logic, and independent will to overcome the limitations you've inherited as an emotional mammal.
Now this may make logical sense, but it's far easier said than done. You may logically know you're in no real danger if you get up on a stage and speak in front of 1000 people, but your fear kicks in anyway, and the imaginary threat prevents you from volunteering for anything like this. Or you may know you're in a dead end job, but you can't seem to bring yourself to say the words, "I quit."
Courage, however, doesn't require that you take drastic action in these situations. Courage is a learned mental skill that you must condition, just as weight training strengthens your muscles. You wouldn't go into a gym for the first time and try to lift 300 pounds, so don't think that to be courageous you must tackle your most paralyzing fear right away.
There are two methods I will suggest for building courage. The first approach is analogous to progressive weight training. Start with weights you can lift but which are challenging for you, and then progressively train up to heavier and heavier weights as you grow stronger. So tackle your smallest fears first, and progressively train up to bigger and bigger fears. Training yourself to lift 300 pounds isn't so hard if you've already lifted 290. Similarly, speaking in front of an audience of 1000 people isn't so tough once you've already spoken to 900.
So grab a piece of paper, and write down one of your fears that you'd like to overcome. Then number from one to ten, and write out ten variations of this fear, with number one being the least anxiety-producing and number ten being the most anxiety-producing. This is your fear hierarchy. For example, if you're afraid of asking someone out on a date, then number one on your list might be going out to a public place and smiling at someone you find attractive (very mild fear). Number two might be smiling at ten attractive strangers in a single day. Number ten might be asking out your ideal date in front of all your mutual friends, when you're almost certain you'll be turned down flat and everyone in the room will laugh (extreme fear). Now start by setting a goal to complete number one on your list. Once you've had that success (and success in this case simply means taking action, regardless of the outcome), then move on to number two, and so on, until you're ready to tackle number ten or you just don't feel the fear is limiting you anymore. You may need to adjust the items on your list to make them practical for you to actually experience. And if you ever feel the next step is too big, then break it down into additional gradients. If you can lift 290 pounds but not 300, then try 295 or even 291. Take this process as gradually as you need to, such that the next step is a mild challenge for you but one you feel fairly confident you can complete. And feel free to repeat a past step multiple times if you find it helpful to prepare you for the next step. Pace yourself.
By following this progressive training process, you'll accomplish two things. You'll cease reinforcing the fear/avoidance response that you exhibited in the past. And you'll condition yourself to act more courageously in future situations. So your feelings of fear will diminish at the same time that your expression of courage grows. Neurologically you'll be weakening the limbic control over your actions while strengthening the neocortical control, gradually moving from unconscious mouse-like to conscious human-like behavior.
The second approach to building courage is to acquire additional knowledge and skill within the domain of your fear. Confronting fears head-on can be helpful, but if your fear is largely due to ignorance and lack of skill, then you can usually reduce or eliminate the fear with information and training. For example, if you're afraid to quit your job and start your own business, even though you'd absolutely love to be in business for yourself, then start reading books and taking classes on how to start your own business. Spend an afternoon at your local library researching the subject, or do the research online. Join the local Chamber of Commerce and any relevant trade organizations in your field. Attend conferences. Build connections. Enlist the help of a mentor. Build your skill to the point where you start to feel confident that you could actually succeed, and this knowledge will help you act more boldly and courageously when you're ready. This method is especially effective when a large part of your fear is due to the unknown. Often just reading a book or two on the subject will be enough to dispel the fear so that you're able to take action.
These two methods are my personal favorites, but there are many additional ways to condition yourself to overcome fear, including neuro-linguistic programming, implosion therapy, systematic desensitization, and self-confrontation. You can research them via an online search engine if you wish to learn such methods and increase the number of fear-busting tools in your arsenal. Most of these can be easily self-administered (implosion therapy is the notable exception).
The exact process you use to build courage isn't important. What's important is that you consciously do it. Just as your muscles will atrophy if you don't regularly stress them, your courage will atrophy if you don't consistently challenge yourself to face down your fears. In the absence of this kind of conscious conditioning, you'll automatically become weak in both body and mind. If you aren't regularly exercising your courage, then you are strengthening your fear by default; there is no middle ground. Just as your muscles automatically atrophy from lack of use, so your courage will automatically decay in the absence of conscious conditioning.
Now this may sound overly gloomy, so here's a positive way to look at it. Heavy weights can be a physical burden, but they are helpful tools to build strong muscles. You would not look at a 45-pound dumbbell and say, "Why must you be so heavy?" It is what it is. Heaviness is your thought, not an intrinsic property of the dumbbell itself. Similarly, do not look at the things you fear and say, "Why must you be so scary?" Fear is your reaction, not a property of the object of your anxiety.
Fear is not your enemy. It is a compass pointing you to the areas where you need to grow. So when you encounter a new fear within yourself, celebrate it as an opportunity for growth, just as you would celebrate reaching a new personal best with strength training.
現(xiàn)在你承認(rèn)了自己一直害怕面對(duì)某些事物，感覺如何?你很可能仍對(duì)采取行動(dòng)感到畏縮不前。這沒什么。雖然一頭扎進(jìn)其中，直接面對(duì)自身恐懼會(huì)是非常有效的做法，但那可能需要更多勇氣，超出你當(dāng)前可以召喚的程度。
我想讓你從這篇文章了解到的最重要一點(diǎn)是，真正的勇氣實(shí)際上是種思維技巧，而非情感表現(xiàn)。從神經(jīng)科學(xué)方面講， 勇氣意味著用主管思維的新大腦皮層，去壓制主管情緒的邊緣皮層的沖動(dòng)反應(yīng)。換句話說，你要利用人類的智慧、邏輯和自由意志，來克服自身作為情緒性哺乳動(dòng)物所遺傳的行為局限。
雖然上述解釋完全符合邏輯，但說出來遠(yuǎn)比做到容易。若你要登臺(tái)在1000人面前講話，可能從邏輯上，你知道自己并未處在真正危險(xiǎn)中，但還是會(huì)產(chǎn)生恐懼心理。那想象出的威脅會(huì)阻礙你從事任何諸如此類的志愿工作?；蛘?，你可能知道現(xiàn)有工作是個(gè)死胡同，但依舊難以讓自己說出這句話：“我要辭職?！?/p>
然而，勇氣并不需要你在這些情形下采取激烈行動(dòng)。勇氣是種必須通過訓(xùn)化才能學(xué)會(huì)的思維技巧，就像通過負(fù)重訓(xùn)練來強(qiáng)化個(gè)人肌肉一樣。你不會(huì)首次走進(jìn)一家健身房就試圖舉起300磅的重量。所以，不必認(rèn)為要變得勇敢，你就必須立刻處理自身最驚怕的恐懼。
我建議用來建立勇氣的方法有兩種。第一種途徑類似于漸進(jìn)式負(fù)重訓(xùn)練。先從你能舉起但仍頗有挑戰(zhàn)的重量開始，然后隨著自己不斷變強(qiáng)，逐漸用越來越大的重量進(jìn)行訓(xùn)練。所以請(qǐng)首先處理你面對(duì)的最小恐懼，再逐步訓(xùn)練去克服越來越大的恐懼。假如你能舉起290磅重量，訓(xùn)練自己舉起300磅就沒那么艱難。與之相似，一旦你能面對(duì)900人演講，在1000人面前演講就沒那么可怕。
所以，請(qǐng)拿起一張紙，寫下你想克服的個(gè)人恐懼之一。然后從一到十，為此恐懼寫出十種輕重表現(xiàn)層級(jí)。數(shù)字一表示最輕的焦慮，數(shù)字十表示最重焦慮程度。這就是你的恐懼層級(jí)體系。例如，若你害怕邀請(qǐng)某人外出約會(huì)，那么個(gè)人列表上的第一層恐懼可能就是去往公眾場(chǎng)所，對(duì)某個(gè)你發(fā)現(xiàn)很有魅力的人士微笑(非常輕微的恐懼)。第二層恐懼可能是一天之內(nèi)向十個(gè)很有魅力的人士微笑。第十層恐懼則可能是，當(dāng)你幾乎確定自己會(huì)被徹底拒絕，而且現(xiàn)場(chǎng)所有人都將哄笑時(shí)，仍在雙方共同朋友面前，邀請(qǐng)理想對(duì)象外出約會(huì)(極端恐懼)。現(xiàn)在，請(qǐng)開始設(shè)定一個(gè)目標(biāo)，先克服列表上的第一層恐懼。一旦你獲得那個(gè)成功(此處成功就是指采取行動(dòng)，不管結(jié)果如何)，再移向第二層恐懼。以此類推，直到你準(zhǔn)備好處理第十層恐懼，或者你已感到不再受恐懼的任何限制。你可能需要調(diào)整自己列表上的事項(xiàng)，使其在實(shí)際體驗(yàn)中現(xiàn)實(shí)可行。若你感到下一步過于困難，就將其細(xì)分為另外幾步行動(dòng)。如果你能舉起290磅重量，而非300磅，就先嘗試295磅，甚至是291磅。請(qǐng)根據(jù)個(gè)人需要逐步完成此過程，使下步行動(dòng)對(duì)你來說是個(gè)輕微挑戰(zhàn)，但又覺得可以自信完成。自由自在重復(fù)練習(xí)上步內(nèi)容，只要你發(fā)現(xiàn)這樣做有助于為下步行動(dòng)做好準(zhǔn)備。讓自己從容掌控進(jìn)度。
通過這種逐步訓(xùn)練過程，你將成就兩件事情。你會(huì)停止強(qiáng)化以往所表現(xiàn)的“恐懼/回避”反應(yīng)模式。而且你將訓(xùn)化自己在未來更勇敢大膽地行動(dòng)。因此你對(duì)恐懼的感受，將隨著不斷成長(zhǎng)的勇敢表現(xiàn)而煙消云散。在神經(jīng)系統(tǒng)方面，你的勇敢行動(dòng)會(huì)弱化邊緣皮層的控制力度，同時(shí)強(qiáng)化大腦新皮層的控制力，讓自己逐漸從無意識(shí)的鼠輩表現(xiàn)，轉(zhuǎn)移到清醒自主的人類行為。
建立勇氣的第二條途徑，就是在你所恐懼的領(lǐng)域，獲取額外知識(shí)和技能。迎頭面對(duì)恐懼可能對(duì)克服它有所幫助，但如果你的恐懼很大程度上源于無知和技能匱乏，那你就可通過接受更多信息和培訓(xùn)，降低或消除這種恐懼。例如，若你即便顯而易見熱愛經(jīng)營(yíng)自己的生意，仍害怕辭掉工作開創(chuàng)個(gè)人事業(yè)，那就開始閱讀有關(guān)如何創(chuàng)業(yè)的書籍并去上這類課程。花一下午在當(dāng)?shù)貓D書館研究此主題，或是在網(wǎng)上做調(diào)查研究。加入本地商會(huì)，以及任何你所在行業(yè)的相關(guān)貿(mào)易組織。參加各種會(huì)議。建立各種有益關(guān)系。獲取某位導(dǎo)師的幫助。培養(yǎng)自身技能，使之達(dá)到你開始相信能取得實(shí)際成功的程度。而且這份知識(shí)將幫你在做好準(zhǔn)備時(shí)，更大膽勇敢地采取行動(dòng)。當(dāng)你的恐懼很大程度上源于未知感時(shí)，這種方法便尤其管用。經(jīng)常只是讀一兩本相關(guān)主題的書，就足以驅(qū)散恐懼，讓你能開始行動(dòng)。
這兩種方法是我個(gè)人最愛，但還有其他許多方式可訓(xùn)練你克服恐懼，包括神經(jīng)語言程序法(NLP)，恐怖癥外壓療法，系統(tǒng)脫敏法，以及自我對(duì)質(zhì)法。假如你想學(xué)習(xí)這類方法并增加個(gè)人武器庫(kù)里的破恐工具數(shù)量，完全能通過網(wǎng)上搜索來研究它們。這些方法中的大多數(shù)都可輕松自行實(shí)施(恐怖癥外壓療法例外)。
你用于建立勇氣的具體過程并不重要。重要的是你在清醒自主地這樣做。正如你的肌肉若不經(jīng)常鍛煉就會(huì)萎縮一樣，如果你不持續(xù)挑戰(zhàn)自己去面對(duì)個(gè)人恐懼，你的勇氣也將萎縮。當(dāng)缺乏這種清醒自主的訓(xùn)化練習(xí)時(shí)，你會(huì)自動(dòng)變得在身體和思維上都很虛弱。倘若你沒有經(jīng)常鍛煉個(gè)人勇氣，自身恐懼就將默認(rèn)得到加強(qiáng);兩者沒有中間地帶可言。就像肌肉在缺乏使用時(shí)會(huì)自行萎縮，你的勇氣在缺乏清醒訓(xùn)化時(shí)也將自動(dòng)衰弱。
上面的說法聽起來可能過于沮喪，但我們還有一種看待它的積極方式。沉重杠鈴可以是身體上的負(fù)擔(dān)，但它們也是塑造強(qiáng)健肌肉的有益工具。你不會(huì)盯著一個(gè)45磅的啞鈴說：“你干嘛要這么重?”它該是怎樣就是怎樣。過于沉重是你的想法，而非啞鈴本身的固有屬性。與其相似，你不必看著自己恐懼的事物然后說道：“你干嘛如此可怕?”恐懼只是你的個(gè)人反應(yīng)，而非你焦慮之物的固有屬性。
恐懼并非你的敵人。它是一個(gè)指南針，指向你需要成長(zhǎng)的領(lǐng)域。因此當(dāng)你遇上一種新恐懼時(shí)，請(qǐng)把它作為一次成長(zhǎng)機(jī)會(huì)來慶祝，就像你為自己在負(fù)重訓(xùn)練上達(dá)成的最佳新成績(jī)而慶祝一樣。
Catch a Glimpse of Your Own Greatness
看出你自身的偉大
Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads.
人人皆有天賦。罕見的是追隨個(gè)人天賦，步入幽暗未知領(lǐng)地的那份勇氣。
— Erica Jong(埃麗卡·容，美國(guó)女作家)
The highest courage is to dare to appear to be what one is.
勇氣的最高表現(xiàn)，就是敢于展現(xiàn)真我。
— John Lancaster Spalding(約翰•蘭卡斯特•斯波爾丁，美國(guó)作家)
Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires some of the same courage that a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes brave men and women to win them.
無論做什么，你都需要勇氣。不管要下出何種決定，總有人說你是錯(cuò)的。生活里也總有艱難困阻，誘使你相信那些批評(píng)家都是對(duì)的。制定行動(dòng)計(jì)劃并堅(jiān)持到底需要戰(zhàn)士般的堅(jiān)強(qiáng)勇氣。和平終將勝利，但它需要勇敢的男人與女人奮勇爭(zhēng)取。
— Ralph Waldo Emerson(拉爾夫·瓦爾多·愛默生，美國(guó)作家、思想家)
So what do you do with your newly developed courage? Where will it lead you? The answer is that it will permit you to lead a far more fulfilling and meaningful life. You will truly begin living as a daring human being instead of a timid mouse. You will uncover and develop your greatest talents. You will begin living far more consciously and deliberately than you ever have before. Instead of reacting to events, you will proactively manufacture your own events.
Courage is something you can only truly experience alone. It is a private victory, not a public one. Summoning the courage to listen to your innermost desires is not a group activity and does not result from building a consensus with others. Kahlil Gibran writes in The Prophet, "The vision of one man lends not its wings to another man." The purpose of your existence is yours alone to discover. No one on earth has lived through the exact same experiences you have, and no one thinks the exact same thoughts you do.
On the one hand, this is a lonely realization. Whether you live alone or enjoy the deepest intimacy with a loving partner, deep down you must still face the reality that your life is yours alone to live. You can choose to temporarily yield control of your life to others, whether it be to a company, a spouse, or simply to the pressures of daily living, but you can never give away your personal responsibility for the results. Whether you assume direct and conscious control over your life or merely react to events as they happen to you, you and you alone must bear the consequences.
If you commit to following the path of courage, you will ultimately be forced to confront what is perhaps the greatest fear of all - that you are far more powerful and capable than you initially realized, that your ultimate potential is far greater than anything you've experienced in your past, and that with this power comes tremendous responsibility. You may not be able to solve all the woes of this planet, but if you ever do commit yourself 100% to the fulfillment of your true potential, you can significantly impact the lives of many people, and that impact will ripple through the future for generations to come.
What is the difference between you and one of those legendary historical figures who did have such an impact? You both had many of the same fears. You both were born with talents in some areas and weaknesses in others. The only thing stopping you is fear, and the only thing that will get you past it is courage. What you do with your life isn't up to your parents, your boss, or your spouse. It's up to you and you alone.
Catching a glimpse of your own greatness can be one of the most unsettling experiences imaginable. And even more disturbing is the awareness of the tremendous challenges that await you if you accept it. Living consciously is not an easy path, but it is a uniquely human experience, and it requires making the committed decision to permanently let go of that mouse within you. Going after your greatest and most ambitious dreams and experiencing failure and disappointment, running butt up against your most humbling human limitations instead of living with a comfortable padding of potential - these fears are common to us all.
The first few times you encounter such fears, you may quickly retreat back to the illusory security of life as a mouse. But if you keep exercising your courage, you will eventually mature to the point where you can openly accept the challenges and responsibilities of life as a fully conscious human being. Continuing to live as a mouse will simply hold no more interest for you. You will acknowledge within the deepest recesses of your being, I have awakened to this incredible potential within me, and I accept what that will require of me. Whatever it costs me, whatever I must sacrifice to follow this path, bring it on. I'm ready. Even though you will still experience fear, you will recognize it for the illusion it is, and you will know how to use your human courage to face it down, such that fear will no longer have the power to stop you.
你該用自身新拓展的勇氣做什么?它將使你前往何處?答案是，它將引領(lǐng)你進(jìn)入更加讓人滿足和富于意義的生活。你將作為一個(gè)勇敢無畏的人，而非一只膽怯畏縮的老鼠，真正開始生活。你將釋放和拓展自身最偉大的天賦。你將開始比自己曾經(jīng)做到的，更清醒自主和從容沉著地生活。不再對(duì)生活中發(fā)生的事情被動(dòng)反應(yīng)，你將積極主動(dòng)地創(chuàng)造自己熱愛的各種活動(dòng)。
勇氣是你只能獨(dú)自一人經(jīng)歷的體驗(yàn)。它是種個(gè)人勝利，而非公眾所有。召喚勇氣，傾聽個(gè)人內(nèi)心最深處的渴望，絕非一種群體活動(dòng)。也非跟隨他人一致行動(dòng)就能獲得的結(jié)果?？ɡ?middot;紀(jì)伯倫在《先知》中寫道：“獨(dú)到的洞察力是私人之羽翼，無法外借?！蹦愦嬖谟谑赖囊饬x價(jià)值只有你自己才能發(fā)現(xiàn)。這個(gè)世界上沒人有過和你完全一樣的生活體驗(yàn)，也沒人會(huì)有跟你完全一樣的思維想法。
另一方面，這是種頗為孤獨(dú)的領(lǐng)悟。無論你是單獨(dú)生活，還是與相愛伴侶享受著最深層的親密感，在內(nèi)心深處，你都必須依然面對(duì)一個(gè)現(xiàn)實(shí)，就是你的生活只能獨(dú)自體驗(yàn)。你可以選擇暫時(shí)將個(gè)人生活的控制權(quán)交給其他事物，不管是一家公司、一位配偶，還是每日生活的各種壓力來源，但你永遠(yuǎn)無法擺脫對(duì)最終結(jié)果應(yīng)負(fù)的個(gè)人責(zé)任。無論你對(duì)生活采取直接清醒的控制，還是僅對(duì)發(fā)生在身上的事情被動(dòng)反應(yīng)，你，也只有你自己，必須承受所有選擇的最后結(jié)果。
假如你承諾追隨充滿勇氣的道路，將最終被迫面對(duì)也許是人生最大的恐懼 — 那就是你遠(yuǎn)比自己最初意識(shí)到的更強(qiáng)大和能干，你的終極潛能遠(yuǎn)比你以往經(jīng)歷過的任何事物都更加偉大，而在這份力量面前，巨大的責(zé)任也隨之而來。你可能無法解決這個(gè)星球的所有苦痛，但若你承諾100%全力實(shí)現(xiàn)個(gè)人真正潛能，你就可以顯著影響許多人的生命，而且這份影響會(huì)通過漣漪作用傳遞給未來的世世代代。
與那些擁有這種影響力的傳奇歷史人物相比，你和他們之間的差別是什么?你們都有眾多同樣的恐懼。你們都天生在某些領(lǐng)域具備才賦，而在另一些領(lǐng)域擁有弱點(diǎn)。唯一阻止你偉大的東西就是恐懼，而唯一能讓你超越平庸的，便是勇氣。你在生命中該做什么，并不取決于你的父母、老板或配偶。這種選擇取決于你，也只能是你。
看出自身的偉大一面，也許是你能想象到的，最令人心神不安的體驗(yàn)之一。而更讓人難以平靜的，是你意識(shí)到，如果接受這種偉大本質(zhì)，就將面對(duì)在前路等待自己的各種巨大挑戰(zhàn)。清醒自主地生活絕非一條輕松道路，但它是種獨(dú)一無二的人生體驗(yàn)。它要求你做出承諾性決定，永久舍棄內(nèi)在的鼠輩心態(tài)，勇敢追求個(gè)人最偉大和雄心勃勃的夢(mèng)想，經(jīng)歷種.種挫敗和失望體驗(yàn)，奮力抗?fàn)幾陨碜罡行呷璧娜祟惥窒?，而非靠著已?jīng)發(fā)揮的一點(diǎn)潛能舒服生活 — 這些恐懼我們所有人都共同擁有。
頭幾次碰上這些恐懼時(shí)，你可能會(huì)像只老鼠那樣，很快縮回自己虛構(gòu)的安全生活里。但只要你持續(xù)鍛煉個(gè)人勇氣，終將成熟到能作為一個(gè)完全清醒自主的人類，開放接受生活的各種挑戰(zhàn)和責(zé)任。你對(duì)繼續(xù)像只老鼠一樣生活不再有更多興趣。你會(huì)在個(gè)人存在的最幽深之處，承認(rèn)自己生命的意義。我已領(lǐng)悟到體內(nèi)這令人難以置信的潛能，而且我接受它對(duì)我的種.種要求。不管實(shí)現(xiàn)它要付出什么代價(jià)，無論追隨這條道路必須犧牲什么，全都放馬過來，我已做好準(zhǔn)備。即使自己仍會(huì)經(jīng)歷恐懼，你將識(shí)別出恐懼的虛幻，而且你知道如何利用人類自身勇氣去直面它，使恐懼不再有任何力量能阻擋你。
Embrace the Daring Adventure
擁抱勇敢無畏的冒險(xiǎn)歷程
Before you embark on any path ask the question, does this path have a heart? If the answer is no, you will know it and then you must choose another path. The trouble is that nobody asks the question. And when a man finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart the path is ready to kill him.
在你投入任何道路前，先問此問題：這條道路是我內(nèi)心所向嗎?倘若答案是不，你會(huì)心知肚明，之后你必須重選另一條道路。不幸的是沒人問此問題。以致當(dāng)一個(gè)人最終意識(shí)到走進(jìn)一條毫無心靈追求的道路時(shí)，這條道路已做好殺死他的準(zhǔn)備。
— Carlos Castaneda(卡洛斯·卡斯塔尼達(dá)，秘魯裔美國(guó)作家)
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven? And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
鐫刻在你們身上的憂傷愈深，你們能盛裝的歡樂愈多。斟滿了美酒的杯盞，難道不是曾在陶工爐火中鍛造的杯盞嗎?撫平了心弦的詩琴，難道不是曾在木匠利刃下雕琢的木材嗎?
— Kahlil Gibran(卡里·紀(jì)伯倫)
(中文翻譯源自林志豪的《先知》譯本。譯者注)
Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.
懶散會(huì)滋生懷疑與恐懼。行動(dòng)則能帶來信心和勇氣。如果你想征服恐懼，不要呆在家中左思右想。直接走出門去忙碌起來。
- Dale Carnegie(戴爾·卡耐基，美國(guó)現(xiàn)代成人教育之父)
As you develop a sense of your true purpose in life, you may begin to feel an uneasy disconnect between your current life situation and the one you envision moving towards. These two worlds may seem so different to you that you cannot mentally conceive of how to build a bridge between them. How can you balance the practical reality of taking care of your third-dimensional obligations like earning money to pay your bills and taxes, pleasing your boss, raising your family, and maintaining social relationships with people who can't even relate to what you're experiencing vs. the new vision of yourself you desperately want to move towards? A whole host of new fears may crop up related to this seemingly impossible shift. How will you support yourself? What will become of your relationships? Are you just deluding yourself?
The best advice I can give you here is to forget about trying to build a bridge. Focus instead on independently beginning the process of manifesting the new vision of yourself from scratch, as if it were a totally separate thread in your life. If this creates a temporary incongruence in your life, just do it anyway. For example, suppose you currently work as a divorce attorney, but your courage tells you that you must eventually abandon such adversarial work. You envision yourself passionately teaching couples how to heal their broken relationships. But you can't even fathom yourself as a trial lawyer trying to speak about healthy relationships, and on top of that problem, you can't see any way to make a decent living in this new career, at least not quickly. There's just too big a disconnect between this new vision and practical reality. So instead of trying to bridge this gap, just begin building your new vision completely from scratch in whatever time you have, even if it's only an hour or two each week. Keep doing your regular work as an attorney, but in your spare time, start posting anonymously on relationship message boards to give couples advice on how to heal their relationships. Use the oratory skills you developed as an attorney to begin speaking to small groups about healing relationships. Perhaps create a new web site, and start writing and posting articles about your new passion. You don't have to hide the fact that you're an attorney, but don't worry about bridging these two worlds. Live in paradox. Just start developing the new you, and allow the old one to continue in parallel for a while.
What will happen is that you'll develop skill in your new undertaking, and you'll eventually be able to support yourself from it, even if you can't see how to do so right away. You may not be able to see a way to support yourself in your new vision right now, and that's fine. Just begin it anyway, doing it for free, without any concern of how to turn it into a new full-time career. Patiently wait for clarity; you will eventually find a way to make it work. Then when the time is right, you'll be able to peacefully let go of the old career and focus all your energy on the new one. At some point you'll be able to commit fully to your new self. Your passion for your new work will eventually overwhelm your fear of letting go of your old source of stability. So instead of trying to transform your old career into your new one, just start the process of building your new one, and let your old one gradually fade. Even if you can only invest an hour a week in your new undertaking, you will probably discover that this hour is more fulfilling to you than all the other hours put together, and that passion will drive you to find a way to gradually grow this presence until it fills up most of your days. The most important thing is to begin now by introducing your new vision of yourself to your daily life, even if you can only initially do so in a small way.
No matter how difficult it may seem, make the choice to live consciously. Do not succumb to that half-conscious realm of fear-based thinking, filling your life with distractions to avoid facing what you feel in those silent spaces between your thoughts. Either exercise your human endowment of courage and progressively build the strength to face your deepest, darkest fears to live as the powerful being you truly are, or admit that your fears are too much for you, and embrace life as a mouse. But make this choice consciously and with full awareness of its consequences. If you are going to allow fear to win the battle for your life, then proclaim it the victor and forfeit the match. If you simply avoid living consciously and courageously, then that is equivalent to giving up on life itself, where your continued existence becomes little more than a waiting period before physical death - the nothing as opposed to the daring adventure.
Don't die without embracing the daring adventure your life is meant to be. You may go broke. You may experience failure and rejection repeatedly. You may endure multiple dysfunctional relationships. But these are all milestones along the path of a life lived courageously. They are your private victories, carving a deeper space within you to be filled with an abundance of joy, happiness, and fulfillment. So go ahead and feel the fear - then summon the courage to follow your dreams anyway. That is strength undefeatable.
當(dāng)你去拓展發(fā)掘個(gè)人生命的真正意義和目的，就可能開始在當(dāng)前生活情形，與自己展望的人生前景間，產(chǎn)生一種令人不安的斷連感。這兩個(gè)世界也許看起來如此不同，以致于你無法從思維上想象怎樣在兩者間架起聯(lián)系橋梁。當(dāng)面對(duì)現(xiàn)實(shí)世界的責(zé)任義務(wù)，比如賺錢付清賬單和稅款，取悅上司老板，贍養(yǎng)家庭，跟那些甚至無法理解你生活經(jīng)歷的人維持社交關(guān)系，再想到自己迫切渴望走向的全新愿景，你該如何處理好兩者間的平衡?這種看起來難以實(shí)現(xiàn)的轉(zhuǎn)變，就可能突然制造大量新生恐懼。你將如何支持個(gè)人生活?你的感情關(guān)系又會(huì)發(fā)生什么改變?你是否在哄騙自己相信那個(gè)愿景?
我能在此給出的最好建議，就是忘掉試圖架設(shè)聯(lián)系橋梁的想法。直接專注于獨(dú)立自主地，從零開始實(shí)現(xiàn)個(gè)人新愿景的過程。就像它是你生活里完全隔離的一條發(fā)展路線一樣。假如這種做法會(huì)在生活中制造出暫時(shí)的不和諧一致感，也別在意，請(qǐng)依然繼續(xù)干下去。例如，設(shè)想你當(dāng)前工作是名離婚律師，但內(nèi)心勇氣告訴你終該舍棄這種對(duì)抗性工作。你展望自己會(huì)充滿激情地教授夫妻如何治愈他們受損的感情關(guān)系。但你甚至還無法想象自己身為一名法庭辯護(hù)律師，去試圖談?wù)摻】蹈星殛P(guān)系。而且除此問題之外，你也看不出在新職業(yè)道路上，能獲得體面生活水平的任何工作方式，至少短期內(nèi)無法如此。這份新愿景與現(xiàn)實(shí)生活間存在巨大斷連。因此，與試圖在鴻溝上架設(shè)橋梁的做法不同，你直接從零開始創(chuàng)建這份新愿景。無論自己何時(shí)有空，就算每周只在上面工作一兩個(gè)小時(shí)也行。繼續(xù)作為律師完成個(gè)人日常工作，但在空閑時(shí)段，你可以匿名在感情關(guān)系論壇上發(fā)言，為各對(duì)夫妻如何治愈感情關(guān)系提供建議。利用你身為律師發(fā)展而出的雄辯技巧，開始向小型團(tuán)體演說有關(guān)治愈感情關(guān)系的內(nèi)容?；蛟S你還可創(chuàng)建一個(gè)新網(wǎng)站，針對(duì)自己新的激情事業(yè)，開始寫作和發(fā)布文章。你不必隱藏自己是名律師的事實(shí)，但也無需擔(dān)心要將這兩個(gè)世界連接起來。你可以生活在矛盾之中。只管開始發(fā)展全新的自我，同時(shí)允許舊的自己繼續(xù)并存一段時(shí)間。
隨后將要發(fā)生的，就是你會(huì)在新事業(yè)上拓展出技能，并終能靠它支持個(gè)人生活，即使你當(dāng)前還無法立刻看出如何將其實(shí)現(xiàn)。你也許不能馬上看出在新愿景下支持個(gè)人生活的方式，這不是什么問題。只管開始去做，免費(fèi)也干，不必顧慮如何將其轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)橐环菪碌娜毠ぷ?。耐心等待清晰感的最終出現(xiàn);你終將找到一條管用的路線。然后當(dāng)時(shí)機(jī)恰當(dāng)，你便可平靜地對(duì)舊職業(yè)放手，將全部精力專注于新事業(yè)。在某一時(shí)刻，你將能對(duì)嶄新的自我許下全面承諾。你對(duì)新工作的激情，將最終蓋過放棄穩(wěn)定生活舊有來源的恐懼。所以，與試圖將舊職業(yè)轉(zhuǎn)變成新職業(yè)相反，只用開始創(chuàng)建你新職業(yè)的進(jìn)程，然后讓舊職業(yè)逐漸消退。即使你在新事業(yè)上每周只能投入一小時(shí)，你也很可能發(fā)現(xiàn)這一小時(shí)要比其他所有時(shí)間加起來更令人心滿意足。而且這份激情將驅(qū)動(dòng)你找到一條逐漸擴(kuò)大新現(xiàn)實(shí)的道路，直至讓它填滿你大部分生活。最重要的事情，便是現(xiàn)在就開始將全新版本的自我?guī)нM(jìn)每日生活，即便自己最初只能以微小方式從事這份事業(yè)。
不管它看起來有多難，請(qǐng)做出清醒生活的選擇。不要屈服那基于恐懼思維的半清醒世界，用各種分神事物填充個(gè)人生活，以回避面對(duì)在各種思緒之間的安靜空隙里，自己感受到的內(nèi)心恐懼。假如不鍛煉身為人類一員的勇氣天分，逐步建立個(gè)人力量來面對(duì)自我最深層、最黑暗的恐懼，像個(gè)真正強(qiáng)大的個(gè)體那樣生活，你就會(huì)承認(rèn)恐懼遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)壓倒了自己，最后像只老鼠那樣擁抱生活。請(qǐng)清醒自主地做出選擇，并全然意識(shí)到這種選擇將有的結(jié)果。如果你允許恐懼贏得自己的生命之戰(zhàn)，那就直接宣告它的勝利，放棄這場(chǎng)競(jìng)賽。若你想要避免清醒自主與充滿勇氣地生活，那就等同于放棄生活本身，你今后延續(xù)的存在也不過是身體死亡前，等待結(jié)束的一段時(shí)期 — 與勇敢冒險(xiǎn)之旅相反的空無一物。
別在還未擁抱你生命真正意義的勇敢冒險(xiǎn)前，就黯然逝去。你可能會(huì)破產(chǎn)。你可能反復(fù)經(jīng)歷失敗和拒絕。你可能忍受多次難堪的感情關(guān)系。但這些全都是勇敢生活征途上的里程碑。它們是你個(gè)人的勝利，是在你內(nèi)心一次次刻下，再由豐盈喜悅，還有幸福與滿足感來填平的深痕。所以直接上前感受那些恐懼吧 — 召喚你的勇氣，無論如何都追隨自己的夢(mèng)想。那就是人生的不敗之力。
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