雅思寫作：人口老齡化

時(shí)間：2020-06-29 09:13:51 楚薇0由分享

優(yōu)秀的雅思大作文寫作范文能幫助考生積累大作文的寫作素材，理清思路增加作文的邏輯性。特別是遇到一些我們不太熟悉的話題，還可以增加我們的背景知識，我們今天來看社會(huì)生活類的雅思大作文話題：人口老齡化。

雅思大作文寫作范文——人口老齡化的影響

題目

It is expected that there will be a higher proportion of older people than young people in many countries in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

預(yù)計(jì)在未來許多國家中老年人的比例將高于年輕人。你認(rèn)為這是積極的還是消極的發(fā)展?

雅思大作文范文

Population ageing has emerged as a global phenomenon in the wake of the now virtually universal decline in fertility and increases in life expectancy. Many countries are confronted with new demographic realities that spread from the cities to the villages. In my opinion, more problems than benefits will surface with this trend. 　　Admittedly, older people often have time to offer for the benefit of family and the community. Nowadays, the young tend to rely on the older generation for household chores. It is also reported that time devoted to voluntary work and care is at its height within the age groups over 55. Such devotion adds greatly to the community well-being, if not to the GDP.

在生育率幾乎普遍下降和預(yù)期壽命增加之后，人口老齡化已成為一種全球現(xiàn)象。許多國家面臨著從城市蔓延到農(nóng)村的新的人口現(xiàn)實(shí)。在我看來，這種趨勢會(huì)帶來更多的問題而不是好處。無可否認(rèn)，老年人經(jīng)常有時(shí)間為家庭和社會(huì)做出貢獻(xiàn)。如今，年輕人傾向于依靠老一輩來做家務(wù)。據(jù)報(bào)道，在55歲以上的年齡組中，從事志愿工作和護(hù)理的時(shí)間最多。這樣的奉獻(xiàn)，即使不會(huì)增加GDP，也會(huì)大大增加社區(qū)的福祉。

Population ageing, however, brings about serious economic and social problems. When the number of workers decreases, the national income goes down. At the same time, as a person's use of health services increases significantly in the later years of their life, an ageing population causes a relative rise in the public resources required for pensions, health and residential care outlays. Moreover, with an ageing population, the problems associated with the "sandwich generation", people who have both children and parents to look after, have gained increasing prominence. Members of this "in-between" generation are often torn between the needs of raising children, caring for ageing parents and job responsibilities. 　　To sum up, population ageing is an inevitable prospect, the negative effects of which outweigh the positive. As ageing is a normal part of lifecycle for human beings, we must recognize its challenges to our life and society, and work on effective strategies to minimize its adverse influences.

然而，人口老齡化帶來了嚴(yán)重的經(jīng)濟(jì)和社會(huì)問題。當(dāng)工人人數(shù)減少時(shí)，國民收入就會(huì)下降。與此同時(shí)，隨著一個(gè)人在晚年對醫(yī)療服務(wù)的使用顯著增加，人口老齡化導(dǎo)致養(yǎng)老金、醫(yī)療和住宅護(hù)理支出所需的公共資源相對增加。此外，隨著人口老齡化，與“三明治一代”(既要照顧孩子又要照顧父母)相關(guān)的問題日益突出。這“中間”一代的成員經(jīng)常在撫養(yǎng)孩子、照顧年邁的父母和工作責(zé)任之間左右為難。綜上所述，人口老齡化是一個(gè)不可避免的前景，其負(fù)面影響大于正面影響。由于老齡化是人類生命周期的一個(gè)正常部分，我們必須認(rèn)識到它對我們的生活和社會(huì)的挑戰(zhàn)，并努力制定有效的戰(zhàn)略，以減少其負(fù)面影響。

雅思寫作范文及解析：人口老齡化利與弊

利弊分析類大作文社會(huì)話題

In many countries, the proportion of older people is steadily increasing. Does this have more positive or negative effects on society?

(題目來源：2011年10月8日雅思大作文)

題目大意

人口老齡化的利弊

思路

人口老齡化的積極影響：1. 幫助周邊社區(qū);2. 減輕家庭成員的負(fù)擔(dān)

人口老齡化的負(fù)面影響：1. 降低參與率;2. 提升依賴率;3. 擴(kuò)大財(cái)政差額

審題，找出關(guān)鍵詞

Older people

Effect on society

高分范文

It is true that the number of ageing individuals in many countries is higher than the group of young. While I accept that this circumstance can sometimes be beneficial to society, I believe that it is more likely to be outweighed by the negative effects.

On the one hand, the growing population of older people may have some advantages to our society. To begin with, the ageing population makes positive contributions to the community through their services. Naturally, the average life expectancy has increased nowadays, which means that people are more physically and mentally heathier than preceding generations. Given appropriate incentive, these people are willing to work and contribute to the tax revenue. For example, many health and welfare agencies are seeking to hire from the growing number of retirees. Another advantage is that this situation could mitigate the stress of family members. Young people are faced with the heavy workload as they want a better quality of life for their families, and the cost of living has increased so dramatically. In this respect, the expanding of older generation could provide childcare, financial and emotional assistance to their families.

On the other hand, I believe that the above positive effects are exceeded by following disadvantages. Firstly, having more elders decreases the participation rate to the society, which means that the workforce is expected to decrease. This shortage of workers could lead to the wage being pushed up causing wage inflation. Secondly, this situation also triggers the increase of dependency rate as there are more people claiming benefits such as pension and less people working and paying income taxes. In this respect, we might have a situation where working force needs to pay higher income taxes in order to support the increased older population. Finally, it will also have the negative impact on economy for the country because of the imbalance in revenue and expenditure to the government resulting in the increase of fiscal gap. In other words, it requires government to increase spending on health care and pension, whilst older people pay lower income taxes as they are not working. Consequently, it may lead the country further in debt.

In conclusion, it seems to me that the demerits of having higher percentage in older generation are more significant than its merits. (382 words)

相關(guān)詞匯

life expectancy

incentive

tax revenue

participation rate

dependency rate

wage inflation

fiscal gap

pension

雅思作文點(diǎn)評：老齡化快速增長的優(yōu)缺點(diǎn)

In many countries, the number of elderly people is increasing fast. To what extent do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

Nowadays, owning to the improvement of living condition(這里習(xí)慣用復(fù)數(shù)), people can live much longer than before, which gives rise to the fast increasing number of elderly people. Some hold that this situation will result in a series of problems, such as social burden, population expansion and so on. While others insist that it agrees the development of modern society and brings many advantages. For my part, I take the latter side with(用for) the following reasons: (74words)

點(diǎn)評：開頭稍微寫的有點(diǎn)長，不過內(nèi)容寫的還不錯(cuò)。屬于通過分析兩種不同觀點(diǎn)，最后闡述自己觀點(diǎn)的寫法。(此種寫法在雅思大作文的第一段比較常見)

美中不足的是倒數(shù)第二句的錯(cuò)誤比較明顯!while是個(gè)連詞，應(yīng)該連接句子與句子，所以這里前面不應(yīng)該是句號。后面agree是不及物動(dòng)詞，不能直接加賓語。

Firstly, elder people(一會(huì)兒elderly people,一會(huì)兒又elder people，這不是自相矛盾么!!!) are the fortune of our society. They have enough experiences and capabilities which are badly lacked and needed for our youth when dealing with all sorts of problems, they can still do well in their jobs. Especially(前面應(yīng)該用逗號，然后這里小寫) in some professions, such as teacher, doctor, scientist and so on, sometimes (前面應(yīng)該用句號，然后這里大寫)age means the authority and ability. When you see a doctor, do you prefer an elderly doctor with grey hair or a youth without mustache? (77words)

Secondly, elder people(同上) are the happiness of our society. Increasing number of elderly people is also the embodiment of our improving living quality, which shows our society run(應(yīng)該第三人稱單數(shù))to the right and healthy direction, we(前面句號，這里大寫) have more chance and time to serve our elderly people, and it’s the happiest time of all our life to accompany with(accompany是及物動(dòng)詞) our parents, grandparents and great grandparents. (63words)

Finally, elderly people are the lubricant of our society. They have good temper and enough patients(應(yīng)該是patience吧) to do anything, they can help us to intercede(它是不及物動(dòng)詞，而且主要用人作賓語) social disputes, and they make our society much more harmonious which(前面最好有個(gè)逗號)makes for the construction of harmonious society.(43words)

正文段綜合點(diǎn)評：此篇是典型的5段式作文的寫作，正文段構(gòu)思出三個(gè)分論點(diǎn)來證明自己的觀點(diǎn)，的確在構(gòu)思上花了不少心思。但是，這里我想提的是，還是兩方面都分析一下會(huì)比較好一點(diǎn)。特別這篇文章是問優(yōu)點(diǎn)多還是缺點(diǎn)多，那么最好是缺點(diǎn)講一個(gè)，然后優(yōu)點(diǎn)再講兩個(gè)。外國人喜歡這樣的辯證分析。

其次，總的來說，作者的語言還是挺流暢的。但是似乎標(biāo)點(diǎn)有問題，該用句號的時(shí)候用逗號，改用逗號的時(shí)候用句號，這個(gè)也要扣分的!

From mentioned above, the advantages of increasing number of elderly people are obvious more than it disadvantages(典型的Chinese English.應(yīng)該說there are obviously more advantages than disadvantages.). Elderly people are not the burden of our society but the source of fortune, happiness and harmony of our society.(37words)

全文總評：

盡管總的來說語言水平還是很不錯(cuò)的，內(nèi)容也寫得很充實(shí)，但缺點(diǎn)是語言方面還是不夠細(xì)膩。此文7分。

雅思寫作步驟指導(dǎo)

雅思寫作部分有2篇作文，要求考生在一小時(shí)內(nèi)完成至少400字的寫作任務(wù)。由于時(shí)間比較短，不少考生因未能合理安排時(shí)間，結(jié)果沒有有效完成任務(wù)要求或是未能充分展現(xiàn)自己的英語寫作水平。

寫作部分兩篇文章的字?jǐn)?shù)要求是不一樣的。大作文必須完成250字以上寫作任務(wù)，而小作文150字以上。根據(jù)這一指令，從機(jī)械地寫字速度來看，考生較為合理的時(shí)間分配為大作文40分鐘，小作文20分鐘。另外，大作文占寫作總值的60%，小作文為40%，從這分值的權(quán)重來看，時(shí)間上2：1的分配也是相當(dāng)合理的。

所以，要想成功完成大作文任務(wù)一定要把時(shí)間控制在40分鐘左右，前后不超出5分鐘。

那么如何充分利用這40分鐘，完成一篇基本令人滿意的文章呢?

◆步驟一：審題(<3 分鐘)

審題是有效完成任務(wù)的第一步，也是最關(guān)鍵的一步。從評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)看，審題的正確與否與"Task Response"有著直接的聯(lián)系。而在當(dāng)前模板泛濫，文章千篇一律的大環(huán)境下，有效審題是突破六分的一條準(zhǔn)繩。不少考生在審題時(shí)，要么蜻蜓點(diǎn)水、草草一讀，要么只關(guān)注題目中詞的同義轉(zhuǎn)換。如此讀題，都有可能對之后的文章撰寫方向造成偏差。而有效的讀題方法應(yīng)為：

→通讀題目，了解大意。

→細(xì)讀題目，分析句子間的邏輯關(guān)系。

→再讀題目，辨別關(guān)鍵詞，區(qū)分主題詞和限定詞，推測考官的出題意圖。

由于大部分考生只作到了讀題的第一步，所以出現(xiàn)離題或部分離題的可能性很大。現(xiàn)以2008年11月15日的考題為例：

There are more workers to work from home and more students to study from home. This is because the computer technology is more and more easily accessible and cheaper. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?(題目為考生回憶，與原題可能有少許出入)

→通讀題目，了解大意。

當(dāng)前有越來越多的工人在家里工作，有越來越多的學(xué)生在家里學(xué)習(xí)。這是因?yàn)殡娔X技術(shù)越來越容易獲得，也越來越便宜了。你認(rèn)為這是個(gè)正面的還是負(fù)面的發(fā)展趨勢?

備注：題中的accessible有不少考生不理解，對審題的準(zhǔn)確性會(huì)造成一定影響。

→細(xì)讀題目，分析句子間的邏輯關(guān)系。

要把握題目中的句子間邏輯關(guān)系，關(guān)鍵是能讀懂代詞"this"; "it"的具體指代。

"this"是指第一句話。

"it"可理解為前兩句所呈現(xiàn)的這一現(xiàn)象。為了使文章寫作方向更為明確，這里可把it 概括為：the wider usage of computer technology in working or studying from home

→再讀題目，辨別關(guān)鍵詞，區(qū)分主題詞和限定詞，推測考官的出題意圖。

主題詞：Computer technology in working or studying from home

限定詞：positive or negative

不容忽視的詞：easily accessible and cheaper

題目信息解構(gòu)：

(topic) positive(benefits)

Computer technology in working or studying from home

(causes) Negative (drawbacks)

Easily accessible and cheaper

對題目做出如上分析，確保撰寫的文章能包含以上的信息，審題這關(guān)絕對能過。

以上用時(shí)不超過3分鐘。

◆步驟二：列大綱(<3分鐘)

根據(jù)以上的題目解構(gòu)信息，尋找關(guān)鍵詞的下義詞和衍生詞，根據(jù)已有素材確定寫作框架。

如：

Computer technology：on-line, PC, laptop, broadband

Working from home: Fashion designer; freelancer; translator; journalist; writer; music composer, artistsStudying from home: on-line course, the disable who are difficult to move; course in the foreign country

Cheaper: on-line IELTS course --several hundred RMB

Class IELTS course -- several thousand RMB

Easily accessible : in city-- at least one PC every house

Broadband: almost every house; school

Net bar: almost every neighbourhood

Outline:

☆I(lǐng)ntroduction:

Computer technology in home-study and home- work (topic)

Positive development (opinion)

☆Body:

★Benefits of studying from home:

Cheaper--- IELTS course (on-line /class)